Complication
by BloodyAlexy
Summary: After an attack and a hospitalized friend, each member of the gang's feelings get revealed and the friendship turns into something more complicated. Slash. Contains Kenny x Kyle, Cartman x Kyle and Stan x Cartman. Every chapter has a different point of view; and it includes a lot foul mouth usage, because the original show does.
1. This Damn Blank Memory

A philosopher who I don't give a fuck about his name had said "What's the point of living if you're gonna die in the end?"

Or on the second thought, that can be just a fucking emo kid. Yeah, that makes much more sense.

Anyone who has a little optimistic view would deny it right away with craps like 'the important thing is to live well and leave something to remind of us after we're gone' and blah blah blah.

But I do nothing but getting a little jealous- and maybe angry. If thinking in this way is true, then it must be even truer to think like this:

_What is the point of dying if you're gonna be back to life in the end?_

(…)

The knife in my chest. Blood. Pain. Darkness. The light. Darkness again.

The ceiling.

_Oh, fuck me, not this shit again, _I thought. What happened last night? I don't fucking remember. But if I won't remember, no one was gonna do it.

I forced myself to think as I was dressing up. I wore my usual combination - a black t-shirt on a dark jean and an orange parka. I have nothing to wear but two jeans, four or five t-shirts that are taken for free at some rock concerts and an orange parka. If it's too cold for hands, also a pair of brown gloves. That's why I don't have a chance to wear something different.

Yeah, I'm poor and cursed. Bad duo.

As soon as I get out of my little room, the noises I was hearing a bit increased suddenly.

"Stop the fucking drinking for just a fucking second and start looking for a fucking job you drunk piece of shit!"

"First you stop paying your every cent for drinks and tell me that, bitch!"

"These drinks are bought by _you _with the money _I _gain and you take, asshole! At least spend your own money for all the shits you pay!"

"What's you're drinking, huh? Is that piss in that bottle or the beer you've fucking been complaining for whole this fucking time?!"

I really don't wanna listen to this shit. I've been listening to this shit since I was born. I put my earphones (or as I love to call them, _life savers_) on and started to listen to _Hell _by Disturbed at the highest volume. These earphones and a phone - which has features like music player, camera etc. unlike my old, poor phone - were birthday gifts from Kyle for my 13th birthday. I can never thank Kyle enough for these. Now you must be thinking like 'why would someone give such a thing for birthday?'. Simple, the Broflovskis are rich as fuck and Kyle knew I needed something to keep my mind away that wouldn't harm my health like alcohol… or drugs. That's another story.

As soon as I was at the gate, my sister threw herself out of the house in speed of light. She didn't even wear her jacket properly; she just wanted to get rid of this shit as soon as possible. I damned my parents for this. My brother Kevin has always been a little copy of my father and I was one hella pervert even when I was 7; but Karen was too innocent to endure this mess every single day. I hated myself for being able to do nothing but trying to comfort her and hoping that she's not crying at the moment.

I can't say that my day had started so bad because like I've mentioned, it's the fucking routine. That's why I couldn't see the signs of that was gonna be one fucked up day.

(…)

I swear, it was the same second that I stepped into the classroom as I ate a punch in my stomach.

"What the fuck are you doing, Cartman?!" I shouted angrily in the midget's face. He have been losing weight since the 5th grade but his height grew only three or four inches, so we call him 'midget' instead of 'fatass' now.

"You poor asshole!" Cartman yelled and tried to kick me but I dodged this one.

"Stop acting like a douchebag for a minute and tell me what the fuck is going on here!" I yelled back as I tried to throw a punch at him.

But a hand stopped my arm while the other pulled Cartman back.

"Stop it, Cartman." Stan said as holding him back. Then he turned back to me and asked with a calm, ice blue anger. "Why the hell you went away last night?"

"What? I didn't-" Yeah, right. Like the hell they were gonna remember my death. They were just gonna remember that I wasn't with them after I 'dissappeared' but had no idea about where was I.

But as I looked in Stan's eyes, I got scared... Scared as much as I don't remember I was for a long time. Cartman has gone crazy as fuck, Stan looks with worried eyes… and anyone would understand that something's wrong.

"Stan," I said with a voice sounded like begging. "Stan, please tell me what's going on…"

Stan sighed sadly. "Dude… Kyle is in the hospital now."

"Wha-" I felt my eyes grew bigger. "Why..?"

"Don't tell me you don't remember the tramps from last night, ass." Cartman said, he was still angry but he wasn't acting like one hella freak now. "The attackers that you _escaped_ from."

I wasn't gonna argue about I escaped or not. No one can understand after all. But I could see my hands shaking now, and I needed to find the answer. "Stan, how exactly is Kyle at the moment?" I was literally begging now.

"He's not comatose, of course… But…" Stan sighed again. "he has no difference than a comatose for now. He hasn't waken up, and his body couldn't adopt the new blood yet…"

I fell on my knees, thinking Kyle's face and imagining it with blood and scars. _I can't lose him yet, _I thought as trembling. Kyle and Stan are my best friends and Kyle had done too much for me so far. I would curse myself for dying before Kyle was attacked, even if it wasn't my fault to die.

I thought of Kyle's face once again… and suddenly remembered what happened last night.


	2. What Actually Happened Last Night

"C'mon guys, this way." the guy with an orange top and black jeans called the other three.

"Dude look, I have a girlfri-" the guy with strait hair that is even darker than night complained but blonde with orange parka stopped him.

"Do you want me to remind you how many times that whore cheated on you?"

The confidence that is born from a broken pride, threw away the unsure look in the noirette's night-blue eyes. "Fuck this, let's go."

The blonde rolled his sky-blue eyes, laughing at the noirette's easily controlled feelings. "You're not gonna even cheat. It's just…" blonde stopped to find a suitable word. "looking? I don't know, but if you're taking this as a revenge-"

"I'm not taking this as a revenge, I'm taking this as a man's rights."

The blonde smirked to the noirette's obviously broken pride. "I knew you were more than a loyal dog which waits for his master no matter how far she goes."

Night-blue eyes shone with anger. "I ain't a dog. Can't we just arrive there before making me kill you?"

"Sure." The blonde smirked again. "You're already in the mood that I want."

"Wait- What the fuck do you mean by 'the mood you wanted'?!"

"The mood that there's no need to worry about you will ruin my joy with your doggy-guiltiness." Blonde winked his left eye to the raven-haired guy and kept walking towards back street.

The noirette sighed, not sure why he's even here, in Denver, instead of being at his girlfriend's birthday party; walking towards a strip club with his dudes instead of cuddling her and wishing happy birthday… And after realizing what he was thinking, he understood why; his friends had always been right, this fucked relationship and always being the forgiving side had destroyed his own self and turned him into a guy who sees no one but a heartless bitch. He wasn't gonna just 'look', he decided; he was gonna 'take' and dump that hoe after driving her crazy for a few days or weeks.

He glanced at his best friend and his best friend and the 'friendish' thing of the gang on the right. He had almost forgotten that they were here, it was pretty unusual for them not to say a word for whole the dialouge with Kenny. He guessed how they felt like: a childish thought of 'we're gonna be men tonight', worrying just a little bit about the small chance of their lie to their families could be revealed, and the disturbing feeling of being somewhere they don't know. He knew, because he felt in exact same way. And maybe he had also a little piece of joy of thinking of driving Wendy crazy if she finds out what he was doing now.

God bless the teenager hormons.

The blonde guy Kenny, turned left by a corner and his friends followed him. They were confused because of all these turns but Kenny was here at least every week so he knew these streets; that's why the others had no chance but trusting him.

When Kenny turned the right once again, the shortest one amongst them finally stopped. "God fucking dammit Kinny, where the fuck you're dragging us to?"

Kenny didn't even care. "If you don't like it, go back home Cartman but if you don't know how to get in a strip club without getting ID check, stop complaining and shut the fuck up."

Cartman murmured some curses to the blonde but didn't answer him directly.

After a minute of silence, the tallest guy who had really sensetive senses suddenly stopped. "Guys, we're being followed."

The others stopped right away and turned to the red-head, knowing he had hella sensetive ears. "By who?" the noirette asked to his best friend.

"Yes Stan, I have microscopic eyes everywhere in the state, like the hell I can tell the ID of our stalkers." The read-head rolled his green eyes sarcasticly with a bit of annoyance. "I'm just sure I heard some footsteps and it's absolutely not us."

Kenny scowled. "I've heard of the gagsters in Denver though…" The sky-blue eyes suddenly grew bigger with worry. "Guys, be quick."

Cartman felt like killing the blonde asshole. "Where the fuck did you drag us to, poor dick?" he re-asked.

"Blame your luck, midget. I have been coming here since I was 14 and for the first time it's happening…" The footsteps red-head heard before went quick and now they all could hear these. "Shit," Kenny said before they got surrounded by four tramps.

The gansters were pretty good-looking unlike the cliché image of typical backstreet gangsters. It wasn't gonna take long to understand why, these tramps stole the money for theirselves.

One of the thieves directly headed to the tallest guy. He was the richest one in the gang, and seemed like that was obvious by his clothes.

"We just want some money…" the trump said, pointing a pocketknife at the red-head's chest. "If you surrender and instantly give it, why would we hurt you, don't you think so?"

"Kyle..!" Stan shouted without realizing what he was doing.

"So your name is Kyle…" the gangster continued. "Which way you choose, Kyle; the easy way or the hard way?"

Kyle had the quickest moves amongst all SP High's boys; but he couldn't think - or move - while his eyes were focusing on the pocketknife.

The last one who is expected, Cartman, moved quickly to save the Jew from the gangsters. "Leave him alone, fucktards!" he shouted while he was walking towards Kyle and his attacker. One of the gangsters moved to stop him, but Cartman punched him with a power which even himself didn't know he had.

This made the others move too and Kenny kicked another attacker in his crotch. Stan punched another one in the stomach; since he was a football player at the school, he had pretty strong arms. And Kyle finally got rid of the shock and attacked to the leader tramp. But his challenge was harder than the others; his rival had his pocketknife in his hand. So he was just trying to avoid the knife without getting any chance to damage.

Stan tried to reach his best friend but his rival pulled him down as trying to stand up. Stan kicked his chin but the tramp didn't let him go; he wanted the money that his boss was gonna steal from the red-headed Jew as well.

Cartman's attacker must had been thinking in this way too, he stood up as still feeling the midget's punch on his left cheek and wanting to take its revenge. He kicked Cartman's leg so Cartman fell like Stan just did.

Kenny had hit a man's most sensetive part; so he just ran towards Kyle without anything blocking his way. Meanwhile Kyle's attacker grabbed Kyle's arm and held it in a way which didn't let Kyle move anymore.

Kyle tried to get rid of the strong hand but it was too strong. Jew felt the cold metal on his neck and couldn't help but tremble.

Kenny stopped when he saw the knife on Kyle's throat. He suddenly felt the rage running through his veins. "Let him go." he said slowly -and deathly.

"If not?" the tramp asked cynically.

Everything happened so fast after that.

Kenny tried to attack the gangster but he moved to the side so fast. Though he loosened his hand on Kyle's arms unconsciously, so Kyle took the advantage of it. He turned around and kneed the tramp's stomach. The tramp ripped out his knife with reflex towards Kyle. Kenny ran over Kyle and pushed him but he was too late to save himself.

Time stopped at that second and every second became as long as ten minutes.

Kenny vomitted blood as grabbing the knife in his chest surprisedly. Then his eyes got closed and the blonde fell dead. Kyle's eyes grew and he couldn't breathe for a while, thinking Kenny died to protect him. Stan shouted Kenny's name, then he pushed the gangster - that he had been fighting - 50 feet away.

"Oh my god, he killed Kenny!" Stan said, still shocked.

"You… bastard…" Kyle was shocked as well as a drop of tear wetted his right cheek. Then he felt the blood red rage, and pulled the night outta Kenny's chest. "YOU BASTARD!" he yelled from the deep of his lungs and attacked to the leader gangster with that knife. He aimed at his chest too and with the power of Kyle's rage and his own quickness, the gangster fell down like Kenny did a minute ago.

Meanwhile Cartman was fainted so his rival decided to take revenge of his leader. He took out his own knife and ran towards Kyle. Kyle felt his coming thanks to his sharp senses and tried to defense himself; but the attacker was moving pretty fast. Before Stan had a chance to help, the tramp stabbed Kyle who got tired of the sudden energy explotion.

As Kyle fell, Stan punched the attacker hard. He dropped his knife and Stan stabbed his arm enough to stop him. So the last gangster was defeated too and the street went silent.

Stan looked around; Kenny was dead, Kyle was scarred so much that he could even die and Cartman was fainted on the ground. He trembled as thinking how an expected-to-be-fun night almost destroyed the gang. He took his scarf and wrapped it around Kyle's wound. But he couldn't carry Cartman and Kyle at the same time and he couldn't leave any of them here. _Actually, I don't care if Cartman stays here… _This thought suddenly gave him an unknown pain in his chest without understanding why. He just… couldn't let him bleed here, even if it was Cartman.

He kept thinking for two minutes (long enough to make Kyle worse) and he decided to call Bob. Bob was who brought them here for free. Stan had no idea how Kenny met him or how he managed to convince this fat, strong guy to work for him whenever he wants but he didn't care, he just needed a transporter without getting the polices involved. Or else all of them could get in trouble even though this fight was for self-defence.

Stan found Kenny's phone in the dead teen's pocket, and hoped that Bob's number was saved here. And here it was. Stan pressed the green key. Bob didn't wait too much to answer it.

"Isn't it too early to call, master man-whore?" Bob laughed at his own terrible joke. It wasn't even a joke; it was the actual truth of life.

Stan sighed; he had gotten a little annoyed. "Bob, it's Stan, Kenny's friend. We have gotten attacked and…" Stan sighed again, this time with sadness. "Kenny's dead and I can't say that the other two are pretty well. I need-"

"Gotcha, you don't wanna get in trouble." Bob laughed. What was it so funny about anyways? "Tell me where exactly you are now."

Stan's memory was good at remembering the directions. He told Bob which way they walked and waited him to come.

Bob worked quickly when he arrived. He threw the attackers' bodies into the trash bin - even though they weren't even dead yet -. Stan watched him silently, thinking if he really is used to clean this stuff. When Bob was about to throw Kenny's body too, a weak voice murmured. "Do not… throw him…"

Stan glanced at his best friend. "Don't throw him Bob." he said, not rejecting Kyle's request. Bob looked at them, obviously thinking these two were nuts. "I'll carry him if I have to," Stan insisted. Bob didn't give a fuck ang gave the good-shaped dead body in Stan's arms.

Bob put newspapers on the backseat before getting Kyle and Cartman in. "I don't want blood stains on my backseat," he explained. Then Stan sat in and put the blonde corpse in sitting position. Bob put Cartman on Stan's right in sitting position too and Kyle was lying on Cartman and Stan's legs. Probably both Kyle and Cartman weren't gonna like this at all but they had to do like that now. Stan checked Kyle if he's awake like when he told them not to throw Kenny's body in trash bin, but seemed like he was totally fainted now.

On the way to South Park, Stan thought lots of things: how they were gonna explain this shit without getting in trouble, how he was gonna get rid of Wendy and make her crawl just like he was doing for years, or was Kyle gonna be okay… and he also thought that how cute Cartman looked while he was sleeping unlike the times when he was awake and being shitty as always. Stan watched Cartman for a while, and then he fell into sweet darkness of sleep too.


	3. Is Thinking Forbidden Here or Something?

Hyprocrisy.

Well, I guess I can say that it's my philisophy.

I know that I'm hyprocritical at almost everywhere in my life. Acting like I jate someone I love, I love someone I hate, I like something I loathe or I loathe something I like. I've always been like this, and truth to be told, I don't complain about it.

Maybe I'm addicted to hiprocrisy. That's how you can be as cool as me without revealing your loser sides.

But sometimes hypocrisy becomes a problem.

Like when it makes your love hate you.

(…)

"It does not make anything better!" I was still shouting. "It doesn't make you forgiven!"

That ghetto bastard didn't even listen. Gah, I hate Kenny so much.

Idiot man-whore insisted so much to visit Kyle that we finally ended up here, skipping the school without even joining the homeroom. I'm not complaining tho, I wanna see is the Jew is gonna die or keep his damn existence.

"Are you sure you really wanna see him?" Stan asked, maybe 100th time.

"FUCKING YES STAN!" Kenny finally exploded. "Why the fuck do you keep asking this shit?!"

"Maybe you can feel guilty seeing him…" Stan murmured. Fuck, of course he must feel guilty! He must feel guilty so much that he must kill himself! It's his fault to bring us there and escape leaving us alone with those bastards!

Kenny suddenly stopped after Stan's words. He seemed too angry to hold himself back. And I was wondering how he managed not to reply all my words about his escape. It's not like I'm not right but Kenny I know would start arguing with me right away.

"Look, you don't fucking believe me but I didn't escape!" Kenny was totally pissed off. "I know you won't believe me if I explain, because I explained it before but you didn't believe me, but listen this: I. DIDN'T. FUCKING. ESCAPE. Got it?"

"Then where the fuck were you? Went invisible?" I was being sarcastic.

"I _was_ there! Until I…" Kenny sighed angrily and continued walking. "Just let's go."

"What is it, Kinny? Why did you stop when you were about to admit you_ had _run away?"

"I told you, I didn't. Believe me or not, I know I didn't."

Stan scowled, he was apparently tryna understand what Kenny meant. "Dude, he sure is acting weird, isn't he?"

"He escaped, that's what he knows Stan. Don't work your little brain so hard."

We didn't talk a single word more until we arrived the only hospital in this damn town.

Stan asked which room Kyle is in to the nurse in the reception. The nurse answered after glancing at us with a certain disdain. I would knock her down instantly but I have more important things to do. I hate nurses; they walk around thinking they know everything and have rights to order around.

Kenny quickly moved towards the elevator and we followed him behind. I kept my anger, if he was gonna be panicked this much, why would he run away?

(…)

Room 312, 3rd floor.

Kyle was awake. Seems like he finally manipulated the new blood. He was looking around with his big, green eyes and he almost smiled when he saw Stan and Kenny walking in, then he saw me too and started to look angry instead. I couldn't help but think _he will never give up on hating me. _Fuck, my innerfuckingsystem is on strike again!

"What is the midget doing here?" Kyle said with an obvious annoyance.

"Just to make sure of another Jew disappeared on the Earth." I sighed. "It sure is an unlucky day for the world."

"Why the hell did you bring him here?!" Kyle was angry. I love driving him mad.

"Of course he wasn't gonna stay at school without following us when we skipped the school." Stan replied. "So unfortunately we have to endure him."

Kyle whimpered. "C'mon guys, I thought I deserve a rest when I am hospitalized!"

"Other people deserve to have a rest too but god damn Jews are still alive. Why would a Jew deserve a rest?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CARTMAN!" Kyle shouted before he howled in pain. Yelling from the bottom of his lungs must have hurt him.

Kenny and Stan turned to me angrily. "Why don't you just leave and be a douchebag outside?"

"Says the coward." I replied Kenny. "Unless I wanna leave, I'll stay here."

_I need to stay here, _my god damn inner voice said.

"One more disturbing move for Kyle, and we _will _make you wanna leave." Stan said with an eerie voice.

"Whatever." I looked outside from the window of the wall I leaned to.

"I guess I'm late to say this but," Stan was absolutely no more caring about me. "are you okay, dude?"

"I'm as allright as I can be right now." Kyle smiled at him.

_He's never gonna smile at me like that._

_ SHUT THE FUCK UP, STUPID INNER VOICE!_

"Kyle…" Kenny was looking at his feet. "I'm… I'm sorry…"

He can apologize however he wants, he won't be forgiven, will he?

"What do you mean? I could be dead if there weren't you!"

All three of us looked surprisedly at Kyle and I couldn't block the word "WHAT?" run away from my mouth, either did Kenny and Stan.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Don't you remember? You can't forget such a thing like Kenny covered himself for me."

Kenny the bastard's mouth was 10 miles opened. "Do you remember that?!"

Kyle looked at him confusedly. "Of course I do. Don't tell me that you don't."

"Wait wait wait, stop right there." Stan interrupted. "When?! Okay, I remember Kenny was about to attack that gangster who attacked you, but… he disappeared afterwards… didn't he..?" Stan's voice was getting low. He was confused as well.

"Someone can't just 'disappear', weed-heads. Kyle probably saw a halucunation because of his bleeding." I mean, it was impossible. Kenny sure was lying. I _would _remember it if he saved Kyle. And he wasn't saved; he's fucking lying in a hopital!

"I wasn't bleeding back then, weed-height." He failed at replying my 'weed-head' thing, but it was hurtful enough, I'm not satisfied with how tall I am. "It was after Kenny- AH!" Kyle suddenly shouted with pain. "My head hurts when I try to remember what happened after he covered himself for me…" He rubbed his temporals.

"So didn't Kenny…" Stan tried to think. "I'm fucking confused dude!" Stan let himself on the couch next to Kyle's bed.

"All you guys are idiots." I was still staring at outside.

"How did you remember…" Kenny was looking confused as well but it seemed like he was concerned about another side of the subject.

"You guys probably remember only a few parts of the incident because of the adrenalin." Kyle was pretty sure about what he was talking.

I suddenly turned back from the window and couldn't help but shout. "Really Kyle? Then why don't you remember what happened afterwards? Why don't _we _remember what happened afterwards, or even that Kenny 'saved' you?" I said 'saved' sarcasticly. I don't know why I was angry either, I just was.

"I know what I did…" Kenny murmured.

"So you say that you really ran away and it's just the Jew's imagination too?"

"No..." Kenny wasn't looking at me but Kyle.

_Stop looking at him with that weird look, asshole!_

"Then what the fuck do you mean, dammit?!" I was totally pissed off. I hate Kenny.

"I could do anything to get him rid of that dickhead." Wait, were Kyle and Kenny staring at each other's eyes?! Impossible. "And I've done the first thing I wanted to do without even thinking about it…"

Wait; is that a smile that appeared in Kyle's face?

_ I'm so going to cut you in thousand pieces, Kenny!_

"Stop lying Kenny." I rolled my eyes. "You're just ready to jump in anything that says you didn't run away last night."

I thought he was gonna yell at me, but he was as calm as a cold stone. "Someone remembers. That's enough for me."

"I give up." Stan stood up. I forgot about him for a second. "I have to go dude. I may have skipped the school but as the pivot of the football team, Coach will want to see me in the class."

"I know." Kyle nodded.

"I'll come back later. Take care." Stan didn't forget to tell me not to annoy Kyle. Like the hell I care about his words. At least he took the weird athmosphere with him when he left.

Kenny looked around nervously. "Well, I gotta go, I have a date tonight… And I also need to check my sister at SP Elementary; you know how she is when she's upset."

"Wait, do you have a date?" Kyle was pissed but in a different way than he was at me… Just like…

_Oh no, your death will be by my hands, Kenny McCormick!_

"Yeah dude…" Kenny looked at him with blank eyes. "Is it too surprising? I'm not the lames guy in the school, you know…"

He was right about that. Kenny is a kinda guy that has dates every night if he wishes, thanks to his looks. That makes him popular in the school, no matter how poor his family is.

"No it's not." Kyle raplied Kenny, but he was still pissed.

_He is jealous over Kenny._

_ I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!_

"So I'll come by after I check my sister, okay? Hey, don't look so annoyed Ky." He smiled at Kyle, and Kyle's anger decreased a bit. He smiled at Kenny too.

And after that poor asshole left, I was alone with Kyle. I sat on the couch which Stan sat on two minutes ago.

Kyle wasn't so happy for this. "Aren't you supposed to go somewhere too?"

"Nah, I have nothing to do after all." I smirked. "It enjoys me more to mess with you."

Kyle frowned. "But it doesn't enjoy me at all."

"Do I look like I care about that?"

Kyle closed his eyes. "Look, I have no power nor will to fight, so please, just leave me alone for once."

But it was a rare chance for me to be alone with Kyle, so the last thing I wanted was leaving.

Okay fine, I admit, I'm fucking in love with Kyle Broflovski. Satisfied now? I'm not happy with it but I have nothing to do.

"What if I won't leave, but stay silent?"

Kyle opened his eyes surprisedly. He never expects me to be kind sometimes, especially for him. I can understand that because I never was even for once since the day we met. His surprised green eyes met mine, evaluating if I'm serious.

"If you really promise-"

"I do! I mean, I really promise."

"Good. Maybe it's a mistake to trust you but what the hell."

I smiled at him. Not something I often do for Kyle, at least when I'm not alone. "Trust me Kahl."

"My name is not Kahl." He said automatically. "What are you smiling at?"

I thought I was gonna answer in a sarcastic way, but my body didn't agree with me. I couldn't even open my mouth, and looked somewhere away while blushing.

"What is it?" Kyle was curious and I'd rather die to explain why I reacted like that.

"I- I'm sorry… I-" I was acting totally weird. If only that ginger, no, "daywalker", didn't ask me such a thing… I turned my head to him and suddenly my eyes met his once again.

_"…I've done the first thing I wanted to do without even thinking about it."_Kenny's words echoed in my head before my hands reached Kyle's shoulders and pulled them to me unconsciously.

"I love you Kyle." I whispered and I sealed his lips with mine.


	4. It's So Wrong

I hate getting hurt.

Who could blame me for that? I'm not a damn masochist, it's perfectly normal not to like getting hurt.

But…

Okay, fine, I admit it. I'm a coward when it comes to feel the pain. I'm usually known as brave amongst my friends; but I can't say it's completely true because of this fact. Fighting for something I believe in is fine, but… I'd do anything necessary not to get damaged in any way.

Even if that means I have to choose a way that is against my will.

(…)

"Kyle… Kyle, wake up!"

I slowly opened my eyes. "What is it, Ike?" I mumbled; my eyes still half closed. "Am I late?"

"Sort of. Eric is here to take you to the school."

Eric? _Who is Eric?_ _What is he doin_- Oh, right. My brain started working at normal capacity again and I finally remembered the name of one of my friends.

My _boyfriend's_ name, to be exact.

"Tell him to wait a little more. I need to get dressed." I stood up from my bed and headed to my wardrobe.

"Sure, but why do I feel like I am your secretary out of sudden?"

I grinned at Ike. "You are my little brother. It's kind of the same thing."

Ike rolled his eyes. "Watch your words, Kyle. I can also tell him that you want him to come upstairs, and that may be right when you're getting dressed."

I chuckled. "If you do that, I swear dude, I'll kill you."

"At least secretaries get paid," Ike mumbled before he left my room.

As soon as Ike was gone, my cheerful attitude went completely lost. Truth is, I'm not sure about having Cartman as my boyfriend. No, not that he was a bad one. We still keep altercating and all, but it isn't as harsh as it used to be anymore. Our relationship isn't so fluffy, and I like it better this way; we are both guys, we don't need to be all like "I miss you, I miss you more" like stupid girls. Still… No matter how much I try, I just can't love him. I admit I like him in a not friendly way since that day at hospital; but not completely love.

It's probably because I love someone else.

God damn it, when actually I turned into gay anyways? I still find the girls attractive, but look what I have: I'm in love with a guy and in a relationship with another. Not that I find any other guy attractive either, just these two… Damn, it's still complicated. Why can't I just be completely straight like Stan? It would be a lot simpler.

I took my usual brown leather jacket and went downstairs. I saw Cartman was sitting in the kitchen, having a chit chat about Judaism with my mom. I rolled my eyes; he keeps saying he hates Jewish but everytime he's around my mother, he talks to her to collect more information. What a hypocrite bastard.

"Shut up, midget," I said as I sat down on my usual chair in kitchen and started eating my bacon. "No one wants to hear your swallow comments."

My mother frowned upon my words. "Kyle, be gentle to your friend. He's actually pretty sweet, and doesn't look down to Jewish like your blonde friend."

I used all my might not to react with a laugh or rolling my eyes. Cartman is sweet and full of love for Moses while Kenny hates us all? Since he asked about Judaism when he was about thirteen, my mom has a stupid thought such as Cartman really wants to be Jewish. Besides, Kenny can be anything but racist; he simply doesn't care about anyone's religion, he never did. My mom doesn't really like Kenny since last year -even though she keeps seeing his mother-, and pretends as if Kenny is the son of Satan instead of Damien. She can possibly blame on even killing people if she gets really pissed of sometime.

"Yes, Mrs Broflovski, I really wish I could become a Jewish; but no one in my family has this holy blood, sadly. I'd do anything to be a part of this golden religion."

I lost it there. I laughed so hard that my chair fell down, and I kept laughing on the floor. I swear, everyone would think I used a professional montage program if I recorded Cartman's words. Holy blood? Golden religion? He actually said that?

"Kyle, stop being such a disrespectful young man. Your friend is just expressing his pure interest."

_Suuure_, _definitely so pure_. I kept laughing even harder.

Cartman frowned. "You're breaking my heart, Kyle. Is it a crime just to desire to be one of your nice congregations?"

_I can't breathe!_

"Kyle, apologize to your friend."

"Apologize?" I managed to say. "Yeah, he can kiss my ass about that."

"KYLE!" My mom yelled. "You are taking that back right now!"

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes; thankfully my laughter had finally met a word named 'end'. "I take that back."

"But I am sort of offended, Kyle." Cartman put a sad face which my mom probably thought it was pretty 'pure'. "You actually broke my heart. I just wanted to know about your culture, that's all."

A chuckle came out of my throat like a ghost of my laughter crisis of last minute. "Of course," I said sarcastically. "We're getting late, pure boy." I stood up and pulled Cartman by his arm.

"Goodbye, Mrs Broflovski," Cartman managed to say before I got him out of the kitchen.

"Goodbye, Eric. And we're going to have a talk about your attitude later, young man." I heard my mom's voice behind my back.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes again. "Sure, mom."

As soon as I closed the front door behind me, Cartman started grinning, showing his real self as soon as we got out of my mom's sight. "Our little innocent Jew boy isn't so innocent with his family, is he?"

"_You_ are saying this? Do you have any idea how you sounded like a minute ago?"

"I'm just being nice. It's called manners, Kahl," Cartman said with a straight face.

"_Kyle_," I automatically corrected. "And since when you're trying to be 'nice'?"

"I am always nice, Kahl."

I rolled my eyes for the third time in less than half an hour. "Yes, because you are, like, sooo sensitive, sooo caring, sooo respectful…"

"Why yes, I am," Cartman put his hand on his chest as if he really was a gentleman.

"Oh, yeah?" I teased. "So, you will be probably cool about it when I told you that I heard our principal is getting retired and replaced with some Indian gu-"

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" Cartman suddenly started yelling. "Indian? If I wanted a fucking cow worshipper to fuck us all, I'd fucking go live in fucking India!"

I grinned at him. "Because using four 'fuck's in one single sentence is what the British are known of, Manner Man."

"Screw the British, Kahl! It's serious! An Indian is going to phone rape our moms with those weird stuff in Kamasutra everyday! Stan!" I realized we had arrived to the bus stop we have been in every morning for ten years. "Is that true that the new principal is Indian?"

"New principal?" My best friend blinked blankly. "There's no new principal, I heard."

"Really?" He asked as he turned to me.

I rolled my eyes. "I was just testing your reaction, you moron."

"You little fucking Jew!" Cartman took a step towards me, but our bus came before he could 'attack' me. "I'll kill you at school, Kahl," he said before stepping in the bus. What a lovely boyfriend, isn't he?

"Wait," I said. "Kenny isn't here yet."

"I'm not getting a warning just because that blonde asshole wanted more beauty sleep."

"I hate to say this, dude, but if I get late once again this week, I'll be in serious trouble." Stan followed Cartman in as well.

I gave a sigh. "I guess you're right." I got in too and the door was closed behind my back. I sat beside Cartman as Stan passed us and went to his girlfriend. Cartman leaned his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes; he'd probably say that he fell asleep and accidentally leaned to me if someone noticed.

Maybe it was better not to see Kenny this early. Talking or hearing about him was fine; but seeing him was harder since I started being with Cartman a month ago. I feel like I'm betraying him; but of course I know he absolutely has no feelings towards me, and I must be feeling like betraying _Cartman_ instead. Maybe I don't have the courage to see him completely careless about my relationship- Ugh, what am I talking about, no one but Ike knows about this thing. Even my best friend doesn't… Screw the reasons why, I just didn't want to see Kenny, alright?

Yes, I love that blonde asshole. If you ask why I'm still with Cartman while I love Kenny… Well… Kenny doesn't even like me more than a best friend; and despite his jerk face, I know Cartman does. If I am gay, fuck this, call me gay; but I am sick of loving Kenny while it's pretty obvious that it's unrequited. It doesn't feel bad to be loved side for once, if you ask me.

"Is there something wrong, Jew?" Cartman asked when we arrived at school and he caught me thinking.

"I am just tired," I lied as we got out of the bus. "I was waken up this morning, you know."

"Oh…" Cartman checked his surroundings to be sure no one was hearing us. "So, you want to go somewhere together after school?"

"Yeah, why not," I replied casually. "I can't say I'm eager for my mother's usual lectures. See you at Algebra class."

"So long, Jew." I heard Cartman say as we headed to our classes.

I already said we aren't a mushy couple; and we weren't even close in public. But if there is something that no one knows about Cartman, it's that he gets more different when we're alone. We still have little arguments like we always have, but he's a lot softer compared to his usual self. Underline 'compared'.

I sat on my desk in Biology class; apparently my playboy laboratory partner still hadn't arrived. Whatever. He was probably hangover like he usually is again. _I don't care._

I took my biology book out and studied our previous subject in case of Mr Saltzman decides to torture me again. It was Kenny's fault; a month ago, he was so busy asking my opinion on which girl in the class was hot and which one was not that he didn't realize the teacher was glaring at us. Truth is; Mr Saltzman is _really_ old; he thought I was the one talking with my dick replaced with my brain. He still thinks I'm the one talking when he hears a student speaking; and takes me in a verbal exam on blackboard. If I fail, he gives me detention; and trust me, _anything_ is better than having to listen my mother's same useless speeches after every detention I get. No thanks, I'd prefer my thumbs getting ripped off.

I heard the bell rang. I took my notebook out as well; but as soon as it stopped ringing, I felt a tight grip on my arm dragging me out of the classroom.

"What the fuck, Kenny?" I shouted as he got me out in the hall.

He glanced at me, but didn't reply. Instead, he dragged me to the stairs this time.

"Kenny, if you won't let go of me right now, I'll rip your damn head off!"

Still no reply. I felt the anger boil inside me; I _hate_ being ignored.

I pulled my arm back angrily, saving it from his grip. We were now in front of the door that is opened to the rooftop. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Kenny? I can't miss the class because of whatever-it-is selfish reasons."

He didn't reply me again. Instead, he held my shoulders and pushed me to the wall behind me. My head hit the cold concrete, but I didn't have time to feel the pain as the sky blue eyes looked into mine.

"Are you dating with Cartman?"

I am not sure if it was his cold voice or the question itself; but I felt like a bucket of cold water was poured from the top of my head.

_What?_


End file.
